Hope, Help, and Healing

My life over the last 7 months started out as quite a rollercoaster, but has evened out considerably as I have learned and applied recovery principles.

Healing from betrayal trauma takes time, and is something that is done independent of the addict and their choices.  This fact makes understanding recovery from betrayal trauma difficult.

When you are married and consider your husband your eternal companion and he makes choices that jeopardize eternity, as well as choices that hurt you personally, of course you will feel sad, heartbroken, and even devastated.  You will also have great fear. This is no way to live, and you do not have to continue to suffer with those feelings.

The question of recovery is what you will choose to do with your feelings. The beauty of recovery is learning to recognize that God is in control (and you are not, no matter how badly you want to be.)  You have no control over your husband or his choices, but you do have control over what you choose to do with the situation in which you have found yourself.  You can cast your burden at the feet of the Lord.  You can surrender your heavy, heavy load to Him. You are not meant to bear it alone.

You can base your happiness and your peace on God and Jesus Christ.  They alone are worthy of your trust.  Every human you know will let you down in some way or another because we are all imperfect and infallible by nature, but our God and Savior will never let us down.  In them we can confidently place our complete trust.

You do not have to suffer the isolation and shame of this trial.  Others stand by with open and supportive arms.  Seeking help from spiritual leaders, trusted friends, working with a qualified therapist, and support from 12 step groups that are specifically for the spouse suffering from betrayal trauma will all be essential to your recovery.  We have all been put on this earth to help each other.  If we suffer in silence, how can anyone help us?  If we share our loads, we find healing.  Let's stand together and help one another.


I bear my witness that the Savior of the world, and our Heavenly Father, know acutely the pains and trials we are experiencing in our mortal lives.  They weep over the destruction and wreckage that is sweeping over the earth through pornography addiction and all of the unspeakable evil that comes with the escalation of it.
They have not left us unaided.  There is a way out.  There is Hope.  There is Help.  There is Healing!